A Joy

[WEDNESDAY 26 AUGUST 2009]
Regular visitors (i.e. me) may have noticed that the trend for clocking in at (some-minutes-past) 9am every week has well and truly been bucked. For a short while there was a fixed pattern, I’d get in as soon after 9 as I could, switch on the computer, go and make some tea, and then sit and ramble on for a while instead of painting. These days I usually leave the computer off until after lunch. These days I’m far more productive.

Alas, today I’ve had to power up the old workhorse to look at some photos of SPQR to inspire me for top-secret painting number 2. I need it more or less finished by the close of play.

I’m pretty happy with how it’s looking at this stage, if I’m able to add an extra coat of white to the numbers next week, it should hopefully meet my standards.

Number 2 is safe inside the house, awaiting my scrutiny this evening. Number 3 is up on the easel, awaiting my attentions.

I paint another white layer over the numbers, I add more white to the immediate glow and feather it out. I emphasise the shadows with a B-grade pencil, knock back the shadows with more white paint and then add more graphite hatching to give the darkness a shimmering surface that catches the light from certain angles. Not much more I can do on this one today. I have 2 weeks to get it finished. I wish I could snap my fingers and it would be dry…

Back at the “rock face”, trying to werk up the magenta neon glow. It’s just not doing it for me. Another layer goes on, I make it loose and flowing. Still no joy. Press on… JOY!

That’s better. Everything is more under control now.

It’s amazing what a little distance can do. I haven’t werked on this painting I like to call “three and eight” for quite a while, but with SPQR finished, ‘SMILE’ in limbo, and the top-secret paintings werked to the full, I decided to pull it out and give it some time. The fact that I’ve not spent the past few weeks absorbed in every brush-stroke on its surface liberated me to just leap in and paint without too much thought or deliberation. Yes, it was a joy.

listless, directionless, rudderless

[THURSDAY 20 AUGUST 2009]
I woke up late, I’m still tired, and my hayfever is spoiling the show somewhat. I have just temporarily retired ‘I THINK OF YOU AND I SMILE’ to the spare bedroom. The spare room is in a state of undecoration, so the painting fits in well there with its dilapidated looks. I will leave it there to mature and gain some independence, and hopefully when I return to it in a few weeks it will be ready to face the world.

It always leaves a gaping hole when I finish a painting (or at least stop werking on one). I know I have two top-secret paintings to be getting on with, but it’s the ones like ‘SMILE’ that I really care about.

But I must press on with the top-secret werks, as I only have 2 weeks to finish number 2, and 3 weeks to finish number 3. Why the top-secret-ness you may be wondering? Well, I’m not labouring under any grand delusions that anyone actually reads what goes on around here, but as it is in the public domain, there is still an ultra-slim chance they might stumble across it and spoil the surprise.

I am now officially flagging. I’ve werked on number 3, and put it aside. Propped that wretched ‘rock face’ on the easel and been tempted to scrub out the whole pink neon area. Painted three sides of number 2 black, for want of anything constructive to do. I am sorely tempted to call it a day. Maybe I’ll stop for lunch. Maybe everything will seem okay after that.

I’m back. I’ve had lunch, a coffee, a power-nap/lie-down, and a piece of cake. I took a sneak peak at ‘SMILE’ and was pleased with what I saw. Even number 2 is starting to sing out to me.

So why do I feel listless, directionless, rudderless? I was awake for a long time last night, thinking about all the things I desperately wanted to achieve, feeling like I was being left behind, floundering in the wake of so many others who have been secretly beavering away whilst my back is turned. Have I bitten off mouthfuls from too many pies? I felt like I was completely out on a limb...

---[I've decided to cut the text here. I certainly don't want to read through it again, so I'm sure no-one else who stumbles in here will want to]---

There is just me, in a boatful of ideas, in the middle of a vast, flat sea. The way things stand, no-one will see any of my latest masterpieces, no matter how loud I shout about them.

Of course all this is just a metaphorical realisation that maybe I have too many things on the boil at one time: 2 DJ nights; 1 music Blog; these paintings and this blog; a band on hiaitus, which I’m trying to keep ticking over; a load of songs, which don’t fit that band, and which just keep coming; and a part-time job making jigsaws, which I, thankfully, only need to think about when I’m actually doing it. And then I have to try and promote all these things to get other people to listen and take an interest. I also have a wife who I miss, and who misses me, when I’m only home for 3-and-a-half days of the week.

I think it’s time I went home and had a rest, and worked out where I’m going…

There is painting to be done

[WEDNESDAY 19 AUGUST 2009]
My tea has gone cold, whilst I painted an extra layer of white over top-secret painting number 2. This one needs to be finished in a couple of weeks, and there’s a fair way to go before I’m happy to let it go.

I woke up this morning with an urgent feeling that I had to try and find something on Ebay. After breakfast I logged on, but just could not remember what it was I was looking for. An hour went by, checking my email, and myspace and blablahblah. But I still couldn’t remember. Then I came to my senses and switched the bloody thing off. There is painting to be done.

I just took a big leap forward into purple neon territory – cup of tea to celebrate? Why not?

How long have I just sat here thinning out the neon numbers? Was it the correct course of action? I cannot tell. Is there a right and wrong way to do this? Probably not, but certain actions have either pleasing or unpleasing results. I hope when I come back after lunch I am pleased with what I see on the easel…

And so after lunch the artist returned, and he saw that it was good. He picked up a clean brush, hastily mixed a pale blue-ish violet and brushed it lightly, blending the immediate bright glow of the numbers out into the deeper shades of cobalt violet. He took the canvas out into the daylight, hung it on a convenient hook, noticed a couple of tiny blemishes to erase, which he duly fixed, and his werk on this painting was done for the day.

What next? Number 3. Just as soon as I get this rogue black paint off my hands. I know it’s to be expected that I’ll get paint on my hands, but I have no idea where I picked it up, which suggests there is some wet paint on a surface somewhere in close proximity.

It gets hotter in here by the minute, and it’s becoming unbearable – feels like my head is shrinking and squeezing my brain. Could be time to do some werk on ‘SMILE’ outside. It just needs a little bit of attention, you see.

What followed was a stop-start afternoon of al fresco painting, with a pleasant intermission of coffee and blackberry picking. ‘SMILE’ went wrong for a while, but I think I’ve pulled it back again.

And now it is just about time to finish for the evening.

trifling little touches

[WEDNESDAY 12 AUGUST 2009]
It only 10.18 in the morning. It feels like late afternoon. I have no energy. But I must press on and werk.

I must confess I took a break and wallowed in an hour of procrastination on the internet. It wasn’t meant to happen like that, but now I will never get those precious minutes back. I do feel rested and a bit more sprightly now though, so it wasn’t a complete waste of time.

‘…SMILE’ – I think it has maybe reached a stage of completion. How do I know? I’m almost happy and comfortable with it. I have propped it up back inside the house where I will gaze at it and try to catch it out tonight. If it passes the test then I will stop werk on it.

I have also put the final touches to top-secret painting number 1. Good job too, it will need to be gift-wrapped and handed over this Saturday. It is signed now, so that’s that!


Aside from these trifling little touches I have done fuck all this morning. I reckon on taking some lunch and then I’ll werk my little socks off this afternoon.

So here we are, back in the crawl-space. I’ve been bashing away at number 3, thinking I might be able to get it near-finished today. No such luck. There is a problem character that refuses to come white, and just picks up grubbiness every time I add some pigment near it.

Number 2 is up on the easel now. First I over-painted the white neon characters; then some Permanent Magenta mixed with Titanium White for the intense, immediate glow around the characters. Next I need to bring in more darkness from the black void in which it hangs. And then some of the delicious Cobalt Violet that reminds me always of Dairy Milk.

This is the bit where I call it a day. I’ve got precious little done in the last half-hour, and it doesn’t seem likely I’ll embark on anything if I hang around.
Laters W.P. x

I flit from one to the next like a butterfly

[THURSDAY 06 AUGUST 2009]
Yes! It is the return of the Thursday Painter. The more it happens, the less surprise you seem to show. Surely it has not become such a regular occurrence that you don’t feel even a slight frisson of excitement at the prospect of spending another day here?

It must be bad: I’m spewing out an internal dialogue on the screen, even though I may well be the only person who ever reads it.

Instead I should be slapping another layer of paint on canvas. In fact this is what I have been doing prior to this rambling piece of prose. I am werking on top-secret painting number 2. Allow me to introduce number 2: A small canvas, depicting a commemorative date sometime in the near future, which will soon shimmer with a faux purple neon glow.

I could do with having SPQR here to take inspiration and reference from. But SPQR has flown the nest, and now resides with its new family (who were even more appreciative of it than I could have even hoped).

Number 2 has had another layer of purple glow administered. While it is wet I will layer on some more black for intensity, then it will be put aside to dry,

And now it is time to move outside for some ‘…SMILE’ action…

I don’t want to jump the gun or shoot my load, or whatever other metaphor you care to insert there, but I think that my monolithic ‘I THINK OF YOU AND I SMILE’ painting may be nearing a state of completion. I have taken it back inside to clutter up the house and block out the light in the lounge. (Sorry dear mother that you have to return from Paris this evening to find a disorganised gallery of my almost finished paintings.)


It is hot in here again: stifling, still, lethargic. Must press on. Having spent all my Wednesday Painting session focussed on one canvas, today I flit from one to the next like a butterfly: Number 2 – Number 3 – Smile – Number 1 – Rock face.

Yes the pink neon in the crack of the rock face needs some attention. If you remember last time I made the decision to push it deeper, well I did and now the neon nucleus needs brightening up.

The computer protests and crashes again. I protest and crash again. It really is heavy in here today. Looks like it’s just rained outside, but that’s no good to me. And it’s drying up already. And I’m packing up and going home.

dead-ends and wrong-turns

[WEDNESDAY 05 AUGUST 2009]
Good Afternoon. I return to the loft after lunch and recommence werk on top-secret painting number 1. It has been the primary object of my attentions all morning. I have taken umpteen forms of media to its surface, and taken many wrong turns. This time next week it will need to be finished, so it’s a relief that it looks to be nearing a stage of readiness for the outside world.

I took the plunge and opted for a more contrast-y finish, rather than the subtle lighter tones I had originally envisaged. Though it’s certainly not as stark and full-on as the black neon paintings I’ve made. I wanted the background to be almost like a stone slab or tile, with a shimmering, serene white neon legend set against it. After much mess and persevering , I am almost pleased with it.

With all this werk and mess, the actual numbers have grown grubby and off-white. A fresh coat of titanium white should set them right. Time to move it inside, so I can sit and ponder it this evening.

5.00pm: I’ve just propped top-secret painting number 3 on the easel, I need to go through the same steps as I did with number 1 this morning. Only without all the dead-ends and wrong-turns. I have a bit longer to finish this one, plus I made quite a lot of headway trying out ideas on it last week.

It’s been like a sauna in here all afternoon, and it’s really starting to get to me. Could be time to call it a day. Don’t worry though I’ll be back tomorrow for more fun and hair-pulling.

Nearly came a cropper

[WEDNESDAY 29 JULY 2009]
The time is 4.38pm: I’ve been beavering away all morning and into the afternoon. Much of it spent on one of those top-secret paintings, trying to knock it into shape. During my time away from it, I had aninkling that I could try some chalk for a more malleable glow, and so I tentatively set to werk. It seems to work quite well.

As I took a break and sat pondering what next, it struck me: More contrast. I set to dry-brushing some black oil paint in from the edges. It has certainly made the figures glow. I’m not quite happy with it, but a big step has been taken. My only worry is that this will lead to me having to darken the whole of the background of ‘…SMILE’. Eek!

I took a stick of white chalk to the areas around ‘I THINK’ at first it looked like I’d made a grave mistake. I hoisted the canvas down the hatch, and propped it up outside. Hmmm, not quite how I’d hoped, but a bit of light brushing smoothed everything out. Can’t look back now I thought and I applied the same technique to the rest of the words. It made a pleasant change werking outside in the daylight.

Earlier today I nearly came a cropper coming up the ladder with too many things in my hands. “Idiot”, I thought, and made a note not to try that again.

Back on that top-secret one that is proving a tricky one to pin down and bring in to line. I feel like every thing I try just makes me even more unsure, and I just can’t see how to make it right.

Thursday Painter (slight return)

[THURSDAY 23 JULY 2009]
My dad just dropped in to say hello. It took a bit of prompting before he clicked what the dates were all about. He also commented that I was quite prolific, seeing all the canvases stacked up around the cramped studio. But most of them are unfinished, I pointed out.

Yes, I am a prolific starter.

However, I am pleased to report that SPQR is finished, and signed:


Just have to hope the commissioners are pleased with it.

It feels like about 4pm, but it’s only 12.47. Like last week, I think I’m a bit frazzled from my marathon session of Wednesday Painting. I am also a little giddy having finished a painting. As far as I can recollect this is the first I’ve completed this year. A cause for celebration, you might think. Only now I’m not clear which to pay attention to in its absence. The top-secret paintings have all been werked to death this week, as has ‘…Smile’.

So now I’m back at the “rock face”, adding some extra magenta glow in the darkness . I take a few steps back, I can see the problem now, I must set the neon deeper down inside the crack. And this is what I set out to do… We have made progress, but it is not quite singing out from the depths just yet.

squalid-looking flies basking on the fence

[WEDNESDAY 22 JULY 2009]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It is 3.55pm, I’ve just been doing one of those tense, close detail tasks, the kind that makes me hold my breath until I go blue in the face and start shaking uncontrollably. I had to scream to release the pressure.

Wildlife watch: Earlier this morning I stood and supped a cup of tea in the sun. I wasn’t the only one enjoying the warm rays – there was a gang of squalid-looking flies basking on the fence:

Also this morning, I brought SPQR out of stasis, and I’m pleased to report that after a couple of minor touch-ups, it looks ready to be unveiled to its benefactors. I will hang it in the house and consider it this evening, just to make sure.

I will be here for two days again this week. I have to say that I find this temporary set-up quite agreeable, it allows me to relax a bit more into the werk, rather than pressurising myself to get a certain amount done in one day.

There are top-secret werks to be done now, just as soon as I’ve had a cup of tea.

I’m back at werk, my brush loaded with Cobalt Blue and Cobalt Violet, painting up another violet-purple glow. It has some way to go before it reaches the level of SPQR, and there’s only a short time to get it there. But I cannot werk on a wet ground, so it must rest.

5.41pm: I’ve hung two paintings in the house – SPQR and that unnamed pink neon one. Time for a little pick-me-up – water with a drop of Herbas de Menorca chamomile liquor, it sounds vile but tastes a little like pastis. Not quite as good as pastis though.

Just been absorbed in another intense bout of activity: making the letters of ‘…Smile’ as white as can be. It is tense werk, so I feel I can allow myself another little pick-me-up: this time I opt for the Anis with some water. Much better, but that’s the last of the Anis.

It is 8.35pm: Following another period of white-glow rendering, I’ve carefully lifted the huge canvas down the ladder and it now sits in the hallway. It looks good, but not quite finished. I will pay it some viewing time this evening after tea, and werk out the next course of action.

My werk is done for today.

they call me the Thursday Painter

[THURSDAY 16 JULY 2009]
Yes it is Thursday. Yes I am here. As far as I can tell there hasn’t been a massive disturbance in the space-time continuum; black holes haven’t imploded and sucked in the stars and planets of the solar system; this isn’t some groundhog day, stuck on repeat, déjà-vu scenario. I have just chosen to spend an extra day here in this increasingly filthy, eternally pokey, loft-cum-studio.

What has occurred since yesterday is a crisis of confidence. All that hard werk I did has been firmly punched in the nose this morning and it’s left me reeling, dizzy and sick. I think I’d better go and have a cup of tea…

I don’t really have much choice but to press on, I got as far as ‘I THINK OF’ last night, so I need to finish adding glow to the rest of the words. Then we’ll see where we are after that…

I’ve added the slightest hint of a shadow in places to suggest 3-Dimensionality… Hauled the behemoth canvas outside, noted where it needs extra glow emphasis… hauled it back up through the hatch… Time for lunch.

Looking back: yesterday was pretty intense, no wonder my brain feels a bit frazzled today. I’ve done a bit more werk on those top-secret things. And then went back to add that extra glow emphasis to ‘…Smile’. Not much time to do anything else except clean up and ship out.

not time for hunny

[WEDNESDAY 15 JULY 2009]
I am on a pretty tight schedule with these top-secret paintings, so I have spent the entire morning werking with acrylic, diligently painting over the numerals, layer upon layer, over and over, again and again. I have lost count of the number of passes, somewhere around 7 or 8.

The joy of acrylic is that it dries so quickly. I have a special makeshift palette for acrylic paint (another tool of the artist):

[Sadly it is not yet time for hunny.]

I’d like to say that I never signed up for this obsessive, fine detail werk when I decided again to play the role of “the artist”. However, such behaviour remains with me since those art school days, when I would take a simple, usually repetitive, idea to fanatical lengths. Mostly I liked the idea of systems and the production-line ethic…

If only I had the patience and temperament to fulfil these intense lines of werk. Truth is I can be a testy little bugger and every so often I have to pull away and take a deep breath before I scream or my hand has a spasm and draws a violent, unhinged line across all that hard werk. Right now is one of those times. STEP AWAY FROM THE CANVAS. As soon as my hands are steady again I’ll turn back and continue.

Only now I’ve lost track of which numeral I had got to. The problem with acrylic is that it dries so quickly… Looks like I might as well werk from the start on this one.

It seems to happen when I get to the fourth character: I have a tendency to hold my breath whilst I werk, and it reaches a crux point, where I have to turn away, exhale and give my poor, fidgety eyes a break. Oh woe is me: the tortured artist.

ENOUGH. I paint over that number nine for the last time.

We’ve moved onto a layer of oil paint: Titanium white with a hint of lemon yellow. This is quickly smudged outwards to create the subtlest of glows. It is the first step of many steps on the third stage of the painting. (stage 1: creating a ground to werk on; stage 2: filling in and building up the numbers; stage 3: making it glow.) We have a long way to go, and not much time.

5.40pm. Time for a little pick me up: My slapdash version of a Pastis - a splash of Anis in a plastic cup of water – it tastes pretty good considering.

8.12pm. Yes I’m still here. Took half an hour break around 6pm, drank coffee, came back ready for more werk. Have been buzzed by a wasp and seen the biggest spider. Got to get on, there’s painting to be done.

8.30pm. I think we can call it a day now, a proper days werk under my belt.
[For the record, I started at 10am.]

top secret

[WEDNESDAY 08 JULY 2009]
Wednesday Painter reporting in at 2.41pm: I have been werking away on three top secret paintings. Choosing fonts; drafting them onto canvas; filling them in; masking them off; painting in the surrounding negative space…

And most of this whilst on my knees.

I give the old knees a break and stand up at the “rock face” for a while. I am *almost* pleased with where it’s got to. Not long now.





Back on the top secret werks: I spend some happy moments scuzzing 2 of them up, painting roughly over, then knocking back; pouring white spirit down them, then water, then more paint. I finish with a faint layer of white acrylic to knock everything back. My hands finally look more like I’ve done a good days werk. But it’s not over yet…

More oil paint - a dirty, diluted grey - brushed on, then wiped off straight away. Followed by a wash of watered-down white acrylic: wipe it down and stand back.



My werk here is done for now.

a broken vow

[WEDNESDAY 01 JULY 2009]
The loft is pretty humid today, stifling, still air, and a real lack of oxygen. Keep getting really short of breath. I’ve been drinking plenty of water, but that’s just making me need the toilet every half an hour. Excuse me: duty calls…

At present I am werking on ‘…Smile’. It calls for more glow, and I dutifully respond.

Post-lunch: God it’s even hotter in here. I’ve switched off the main light, and I’m werking by daylight lamp. The crow has been given a bit more definition.

Now, I know I vowed that I wouldn’t start any new paintings until some of the current ones were completed, but I’ve had to break that vow. I’ve just begun a set of three commemorative date pieces. I’m just building up a ground on two of them, before I add the numbers.

I think the heat is starting to affect the computer. Every word I type takes about 30 seconds to appear on screen. Lucky for me (and the Mac) I have an engagement with Big Star and the Tindersticks tonight, which means I need to leave early. So off I go…

green fingers and a head full of cotton wool

[WEDNESDAY 24 JUNE 2009]
There’s a crow perched on a deep red strip of neon, you can just about trace its sinister outline silhouetted against the dark, foreboding sky. This subject has occupied an industrious hour or so. My view at this stage is that I may need to study the form of the crow a bit more, in order to better capture its character. However this would involve either waiting around in the garden until a crow presented itself, or searching on the interweb for source material. Both of which could take me away from the studio for hours on end. I will take the crow outside and consider it over a cup of tea.

It’s a blustery day out there. The pollen’s getting whipped up off the fields and my hayfever has flared up – cue ten minute sneezing fit.

Not sure what to werk on next. Two paintings are in quarantine, out of sight, in the hope that they will be ready to be unveiled to the public soon; Three paintings are on a fallow week after being werked on last week; Two have been werked on this morning, so they’re being rested for now. Which leaves me with only a couple of options. I should probably stop thinking and just get on with it.

Trouble is none of the canvases I could werk on are getting me particularly fired up, and I’ve set myself a firm rule that I won’t start anything new until I’ve finished some of the 11 or so that I’ve got on the go.

It is 12.29pm. I have cleaned all the brushes I’ve used this morning. I will take a lunch break and hopefully things will be clearer with some food in my belly.

3 o’clock on the dot. I have green fingers, and there’s green neon light glowing fresh and wet on canvas. I have a nagging ache in one of my teeth, having got a bit of foodstuff caught in it during lunch. My eyes are watering, nose is streaming, and there’s an unbearable itch at the back of my throat. I sneeze again... and again… and again... None of this is making it any easier.

For some reason the Pod of i has chosen to play Hotel Blôedel by The Fall every week for the past 4 or 5 weeks. I skipped it last week, because I was fed up with it. I will let it play out this time. But it has been noted.

I’ve done a little werk on the “rock face”, but my head feels like it’s full of cotton wool, and my nose like it’s on fire. I’ve made it through ‘til 10 past 5, I reckon I might just finish up and go inside.